The Irony Almost Hurts...

So a week after I submit a post numbering the Labour Party's failures, they go and give me a load more to comment on... THANKS TONY!

What I think rubbed salt into the wound (literally) was that I was home recovering from an apendectomy. I therefore was subjected to the farce that was Labour's disaster recon mission for the week!

I suppose we should have seen something like this coming... We all watch TV shows where government blunders cause issues which threaten national security, but releasing over 1000 foreign prisoners who were waiting to be deported, and then not mentioning it for over 10 months is something even Jack Bauer can't protect us from! Just for good measure, good old Prezza got his end away with his secretary, and then Patricia Hewitt was completely torn apart by a pack of rabid Health service employees! To be honest she did herself no favours in her conference, her speech was poor, her delivery even worse, and the facts she was preaching meant nothing to the people who have to live, and work AROUND the bullshit bureaucracy that Hewitt and her people put to the floor throughout their administration!

Out of interest a number of those criminals released have re-offended!

I'm begining to think the only good thing Labour have brought in is 24 hour drinking!!!

I HATE TONY BLAIR AND HIS LABOUR GOVERNMENT!

Some of you might think this is a strong statement to make. Some might agree, and let's be honest, some of you don't live in the UK and don't care! Although there's far too many people LIVING IN the UK who don't care these days!!!

Now, saying you hate someone or something without backing it up is childish i think and clearly shows a lack of judgement. So, (and i appologise for anyone who doesn't agree, actually NO I DONT! if you dissagree with me, you need your head tested) here goes:

Since Labour have been in power, their benchmark for success has always been a comparison with the previous Conservative Government. Well no wonder they think they're doing well, the previous Government privatised the rail companies (something we are still suffering from now) and that's only one of the more obvious horrendous mistakes they made!

However, if we look at it from a different perspective most of the positives which are now arrising from Gordon Brown's budgets stem directly from the pillars put in place by the tory's in the early 90's! Apart from decreasing inflation (and that will come to an abrupt stop pretty soon) Brown's budget reforms have done nothing but line the pockets of Fat Cat politicians! They are spending BILLIONS on:

• Illegal wars
• Useless infrastructural reforms
• centralisation of law enforcement and public services
• the immigration crisis
• F****G SPEED CAMERAS
• etc.
  

Now we'll talk about the war further later. When i say useless infrastructural reforms i mean mainly the roadworks constantly on our motorways... which don't seem to be improving the roads at all. the M25 has been clogged with works for the last 5 years and nothign actually seems to be progressing!
The centralisation of public services is rediculous i mean have you tried ringing NHS DIRECT... whata joke... they listen to your symptoms and then say... we think you should consult your GP just to be sure! Ok... but if i have to go to my GP why the hell did i ring you in the first place!!!
and as far as law enforcement goes i can't remember the last time i could actually talk to a policeman/woman, they're either in a flashy BMW driving like an absolute fool through residential areas to get to burger king before they close, or in the office writting up their
10, 000 word report on kids throwing stones at the shatterproof plexiglass bus stop!
Dont actually get me started on immigration!
As far as speed cameras are concerned a study on one road in the midlands showed that over 2 years cameras had cost motorists over 2.5 million with the average number of drivers caught increasing not decreasing over the period! This begs the question; are speed cameras really a safety issue, or merely a ploy for more revenue? If it is the prior surely they are not working and should be replaced with an alternative, if it's the later... well like i said... I Hate the Labour Party!

Lets look at a more pressing money issue:

The Fuel Crisis - Episode 4
Now the original fuel crisis was a very interesting, the public all worked together with Haulers, Farmers, and anyone else who uses a vehicle and gave the government the finger untill the prices went down. Since then it's just been a bit of a farce... prices have gone up and down and now today they're up over £1 a litre!!! when i started driving 5 years ago, it was about 55p a litre, the most expensive places (BP & Texaco) were 59.9p!

i have to stop here just to have a time out... I'M SOOOOO ANGRY!

Tony Blair... i hate him!

FEBRUARY AND MARCH LANGUAGE OVERVIEW:

March 26th Lesson is Latin:

1)Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur

Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out

2)Valui ad satanam in computatrum meum invocandum

I succeeded in summoning satan into my computer

3)Stercus accidit

shit happens

March 19th Lesson is Russian:

1)Ja ne umeju tantsevatj cha-cha-cha

I can't do the cha-cha

2)Ja vozjmu u vas mochu na analiz

I want a specimen of your urine

March 2nd Lesson is Indonesian:

Saya punya suntikan saya sendiri

I have my own syringe

March 1st Lesson is Dutch:

Ik geef u een recept voor zetpillen!

I'm going to prescribe some suppositories!

Feb 22nd lesson is Swedish:

1)har du några gulliga vänner?

Do you have any cute friends?

Feb 3rd lesson is Welsh:

1)Dau peint o'ch cwrw gorau os gwelwch yn dda!

Two pints of your finest beer please!

2) Calon lân yn llawn daioni, Tecach yw na'r lili dlos: Dim ond calon lân all ganu- Canu'r dydd a chanu'r nos.

A pure heart is full of goodness, More lovely than the pretty lily: Only a pure heart can sing - Sing day and night.

Home Sweet Home! (with more eating than chasing eggs!)
So...
This week was interesting. With no Internationals on it was back to the mundane for me and any other self respecting rugby fan. It seemed as if it would be even more boring with the prospect of Celtic league matches being postponed.

Of course getting back to the real world was made easier with a trip back to the bustling metropolis that is St. Davids... the only city in the world large enough that it can be seen from the moon! (obviously this is purely ridiculous bullshit!) It is supposedly the smallest city in Europe, and if the stupid queen hadn't come down, by invitation from the council (in their infinite wisdom), and declared the entire village as a city (previously it was the Cathedral Close - a small collection of vestries and lodgings for the Dean and Canon's enclosed within the Cathedral Wall - which was the city before!

The Cathedral Close... Still the Worlds
Smallest City! - at least it should be...
(stupid queen)

Anyway...
Twas very nice to frequent the old haunts, eat at a nice restaurant (which quite possibly has the best Italian food in the World) "The Bench" and then of course go to the place where people who have never been there can only dream of going! - THE RUGBY CLUB! Oh what a joy to learn all the latest gossip from the locals: who's hot, who's not, who's been arrested and let out with a caution and warning against any further offence. Who's given up their job as a security firm manager to work in a burger van. But most interestingly... how the St Davids Rugby Team whilst celebrating their best result this season (only losing by 24-0) were later involved in a drinking competition at Whitland RFC and concequently drank Mike Phillips (star of last weeks blog entry and man of the match in the Wales Vs France Six Nations showdown!) under the table like a little girl with those weird socks with frills at the top(i hate them!). So well done all the St. Davids Boys!!! and Happy birthday Noel! What was also funny was that "Digger" (Simon Davies) was there too... i swear that boy's meant to be playing football these days, but he's in the club every bloody week!!!

The beast sleeps... do not disturb her
she will bite... untill you bleed!
- my cat was excited at the prospect
of my return home!

Mothers day was also this weekend, if you forgot... you're in serious trouble next time you see the old lady... if you forgot, here's some excuses you could use:

1. “But Mum, if I had spent the money on you now, I couldn’t get the really expensive thing for you for Christmas.” (Note to self: Buy something expensive for mum for Christmas.)
2. "You know the alien anal probe wiped out portions of my memory."
3. "It's not my fault mum... the calender i have in my office/house is the one Domingo Rodrigues gave me for Christmas and it is of course set to the dates of the far reaches of the Brazilian rainforests!" (Note to self: get a friend called Domingo Rodrigues from the far reaches of the Brazilian rainforests!)
   
4. "You know the alien anal probe wiped out portions of my memory.”

Here's my random site for the week... Absolute Classic! Buzz mate, this'll keep you busy in work!
Magnetic poetry - Enjoy! - remember to refresh to see what other people have done!

Untill next time...

Ozstriker out!

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
So another year of Six Nations comes to a close... and thank God it finished better than the way it started! Wales seemed to recover some of the momentum which got them through last year, but more importantly - the English LOST!!!

Mike Phillips handing off a prop!
(Yes that's a Number 9 BOSHING
a Number 1... AWESOME)

In fact it was a great day all round for Ruggers... as me and Buzz exchanged our favourate moments... mine being (pictured above) Our scrum half handing off a prop, then flaker, then Number 8 just before setting up the first phase leading to our try from the 4th! Whereas Chris most richeously pointed out that his was John Inverdale, (the fountain of international rugby union knowledge) making his pre-match prediction claiming that all three home teams would win!!! - just to let you know... all three home teams lost. It was worth a defeat just to piss on his bonfire!!!

As for the behind the scenes show of the Welsh team, THE STORY CONTINUES...

Meanwhile... here's some more funny stuff to check out:

Stupid Patents
Ever wondered why no-one's invented an underwater hairdryer, or even a waterproff teabag?
someone actually has!!! and they've payed for the patent to stop you wasting your time making one. These idiots are doing you a favour really

Funny free ads
Real ads taken from newspaper cuttings... some of them are really funny!

Yellow Snow
Forgett about keeping an eye on where those huskeys are relieving themselves... that's not a snowcone... eaaaaurrrrgh! Yuk!

WHY WHY WHY DELILAH
Another weekend over... well infact it's taken half the week to get over it! For me this weekend was quite quiet if we compare it to the disgracefull behaviour we sometimes exhibit post rugby matches. Of course the somber embarasment of saterday didn't help the mood much, especially as i had a ticket and was unfortunate enough to witness the most dissapointing result in Welsh Rugby. I also feel for my dad who managed to get us the best seats in the house - Thanks Dad, I'm just sorry the boys on the field decided to play like jessica's!

My View - if you look close enough
you can just about see Joe Calzaghe
between the teams!

Anyway... enough of that... sundays result did quel my anger somewhat!

I've been on my web travels again... here's some funny videos I've managed to find:

Real life Simpsons

Not sure if you've caught the ad on sky-one but this is their new campaign for the Simpsons. I can't believe it's taken someone this long to do it actually!!!

Einstein the Parrot

This parrot is too smart fot it's own good!

Basketball Geniouses

How long must it have taken to record these totally impossible shots!

How computers should be

This shows you how firewalls should work... believe me you do not want to piss this PC off!

Let's get ready to Cyber-Ramble
So for once I've been really busy this week, so busy in fact that when i get home i've not been up to much of anything... But as usuall still having trouble getting to sleep! But i've found the perfect therapy for insomnia, and it involves rambling on the internet! Curly taught me a few tricks at this involving Google Video, but once you get as bored as me the limits are endless!

Here's a few of the funny stuff i've come across:

Good Water Tower - Bad Water Tower
The tales of two water towers (surprisingly enough)

Read a Book a Minute
Seriously condensed books... ever wanted to read Lord of the Rings but was put off by the thickness of the book... here's your chance (also they are pretty funny)

How to Fail an Exam
There are Urban Legends in my neck of the woods claiming people have messed up important exams... one such tale is of a boy called Lee, who missed all his GCSE's but one - English - and in this, the only exam he turned up for, he managed to spell his name "Les". What a clown!
This site showed me that such buffoons actually exist!

I'll be back with more soon!